Monday, April 18, 2011

"So like, Sades Magades, why are you even in Australia?!?"

Some of you have asked me repeatedly why I'm even here in this mystical land of sun, beer and boxing marsupials. And it occurred to me that the lot of you don't really know. So, I will take this time to escape having to have 45 different personal conversations and notify all of you simultaneously why I decided to travel across the world and play in Australia for 5 months.

Yay social media!

Nearly 2 years ago, my roommate Kathy Frances Miller (Allegedly, she hasn't read a single blog post I have written, so I feel zero sympathy for my blasphemous use of her middle name in a public forum. Take that, roomie.) and I conjured up the brilliant idea to fly out to Australia and live with my aunt and uncle after we graduated from ACU. 

And that was about it for the brainstorming.

We got our Visas about a month after we applied for them, and that was a nailbiter. Turns out, Aussies don't want you in their country if you only have 2,000 dollars to your name. But I found a loophole. Anyway, after the long-anticipated approval we started saving that skrill. Meanwhile, God threw a wrench into my seamless plans and made me fall in love with Gerry. I then began to earnestly pray about why I was still on track to fly out here, and why God wanted me to.Why would I leave Gerry now? What am I going to be doing? In between banging my head against a wall whilst working at Outback and banging my head against an InDesign-slathered computer screen whilst trying to finish my degree, my brain was just busy all around.

I didn't really understand why I was here or what I was doing until well into my trip. And being away from my friends, family and boyfriend has been really hard. (Awwwwww! Shut up.) But! God prevails. And I'm now due to return home in less than a month with a clear mind, and a stronger heart. 

Having just been deemed a college grad, you can get a little insecure about your sanity and your financial future. With that, I totally advise escaping reality and taking a would-be-semester-long vacation across the world. It really lets you figure out what you want to do. Not to mention that the change of pace and the break in monotony does wonders on your point of view. 

Does anyone remember when I launched my very first website? It wasn't that long ago, nor was it very successful as more people pay attention to my Facebook than the actual site, but I already want a change. I already want to do more with it. And I already want to promise that I'll pay more attention to the new site. Perfectionism is a bitch, you know. 

Anyway, I think we can all agree that I'm not the cooking-blog, make-your-own-headband kind of person. But when you're seeking your next move, and comparing yourself to other people you know who are kicking out admirable, quirky blogs and DIY websites, that aforementioned insecurity kind of eats at you. So there I was, praying and writing to God fervently, seeking answers to my vexing questions.

But silly me and my mildly unhealthy habit of comparing myself to others.

The idea for spiritual gifts, or God-given talents, or innate abilities, is that no two people share the exact same gift, talent or ability. You bring to the table something completely different - regardless of field similarities. And that's what I came to realize. My desire to do and be more was becoming less of my own and more of whoever I was stalking. And it's far too easy to fall into these days, what with everything being so accessible and constantly thrust your way. I then began to fully take advantage of the isolation that is my closet-shaped room in my uncle's house and focus on what my next move is going to be. 

I had been blessed with a realization that has sparked huge things for my self-esteem, the evolution of Bee Creative Serivices and my potentially successful career. Unfortunately, you're not going to get to know what my big lightbulb moment is just yet. Though, stay tuned. It should be up and running by the summer. And if my oh-so-talented graphic designer is reading this, I do believe a deadline has just been set. Oopsie. 

I'm beyond, BEYOND excited to unveil my new ideas with all of you. I think it's going to be a really great thing, and I know I'll be happy doing it. So long as all of you continue your trend of getting engaged and choosing to hire me to be your wedding photographer.

What tops the list of all of these pensive nights, powerful prayers and perfectly timed ideas is that I'll be able to start a new chapter of my life in Austin, Texas with Gerry sooner than later. 

Being across the world has given me ample time to figure out a lot of things pertaining to my overall happiness and the happiness of those affiliated with me. It would appear that I lived a quintessential college life, in that I really "experienced" things and "found myself", so to speak. Hard and dark at times, but worth the light I'm feeling now. 

If there's anything I can take home from my experience here in Aussieland, it would be to live simpler, love deeper and wear sunscreen.