Try to contain your excitement.
Also, as I embark on this new food-blogging journey, I will be providing, for your reading pleasure, an amateurishly detailed, pretentious, and completely irrelevant review comprised of improperly-used adjectives and run-on sentences.
Pad Thai: A preface
As stated, we first tried the aptly-named restaurant: Pad Thai. We decided to commence our foodscapades on a brisk winter afternoon (New Year's Day), around 3pm. Being the only diners at a random ass Thai restaurant in the lull of New Year's Day, we were offered a choice booth with a street-facing view. I was pleased by this selection for we then had a front row view of all the, what I like to call, Resolution Runners. Assessing the scene, I determined that Pad Thai met all the necessary requirements for an establishment worthy of a foodscapade (as stated in my previous post), with a heavy emphasis on the "authenticity" of its staff, as well as a humorous number of spelling and grammatical errors on its menu/website.
|Waste not, want not.|
Anyway, Resolution Runners miserably jogged by as I wafted the warm delicious scents of basil, coconut, and mystery meat that was just placed in front of me. After I took some obnoxious food photos, we dug in.
Pad Thai: A review
With it's smooth, forthright consistency, the Panang Curry at Pad Thai was exquisitely predictable. Robust, lively, and drunk - the Panang quickly soared to the top of my list of favorite things to say repeatedly in Fran Drescher's voice. With every bite, my taste buds were both ubiquitous and quasi-aroused. So much so, that it was ragingly inappropriate. In short, the Panang Curry from Pad Thai was worth more than 140 characters on Twitter.
|The other white meat.|
We invited another married couple along for our second foodscapade. You know, because once you're married it is considered a faux pas to associate with the scum who remain in singlehood.
Just kidding. Shout out to all my single ladies out there.
Anyway, they, too, were enamored with the idea of a food adventure and wanted to come along to try some Thai. And, as the food gods would have it, Spin was conveniently located near us both. So basically, let's do food round #2, suckas.
I, for whatever reason, walked into Spin with an air about me. You attempt to write one food review on your small-time blog about a dish you've eaten a thousand times, and suddenly you're a renowned food critic. Needless to say, no one gave a single shit.
The snooty and unexplained air continued through our appetizers and entrees. As did the obnoxious photography. A word of wisdom: when trying to make new friends, avoid taking multiple-angled photos of your food and humble-bragging about how adventurous you and your newly-acquired husband are together.
Anyway, we started off the dining adventure with the Sweet Corn Taro Tempura and the Moo Ping. Which, if you are a 5 year-old, "Moo Ping" would be renamed "Poo Ping" with immature giggles to follow. And now, 2 short app reviews.
|Poor little guys didn't even stand a chance.|
Comparable to a dish featured at the Texas State Fair, the Sweet Corn Taro Tempura danced in your mouth like deep fried air. With a confident crunch and a sweet sexiness, the elaborately-named appetizer was about as filling as floss.
Moo Ping ("Poo Ping"): A review
Tasted like pork on a stick.
For dinner, I settled on a dish that I had seen (enviously) many times before on Instagram, the Clay Pot Shrimp. Excited to join the ranks of those who put on the facade as culinarily cultured on Insta, I didn't even need to look at the menu. But then, I looked at the menu. And my mouth was really lusting after the Full Spin. Before I even had the chance to discuss my choice change, Gerry's that-is-more-expensive-and-worse-for-you eyes burned right through my soul. I'm shackled for the rest of my life in this food prison of a marriage!
Clay Pot Shrimp: A review
|Who knew Ramen would be THIS GOOD?|
(Post Script, this is an effing long post. I'll definitely be splitting these up for February. I should probably send the readers who see this to the end some sort of participation award.)
East Side Kings: A preface
A week ago, I would not be able to accurately describe how badly I wanted to dine at East Side Kings. Austin has a perpetual raging boner for that Asian-fusion empire, and I was among the drones who bought into the media hype. So, naturally, when I initiated a triple date (second shout out to my single ladies!) for Friday night, I didn't even present another dining option. Baby gets what baby wants.
Gerry was responsible for ordering the dishes as I was busy with a pitcher of Shiner. And let me say, he was well-advised in his ordering decisions: Chicken Tortilla Ramen, Tori Meshi, and Brussels Sprouts Salad.
Mouthgasms. Many, many mouthgasms.
Chicken Tortilla Ramen, Tori Meshi, Brussels Sprouts Salad: A comprehensive review
First, if you want an actual description of the dishes we ate, peep their menu.
|This is an excellent way to eat fried vegetables and sweet bread.|
On to the next foodscapade: The Month of Gerry's Native Land (Italian)